


you used to start fires

by moonmotels



Category: Ocean's 8 (2018)
Genre: F/F, Multi, love these gay bitches, there's high sex involved, this was wild to write start to finish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 14:56:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17469731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonmotels/pseuds/moonmotels
Summary: it's criminal tammy's gotten this far in life never getting high.





	you used to start fires

**Author's Note:**

> buckle up you gays, debbie and lou are getting tammy high.

Debbie Ocean knows exactly five things in life to be true.

  1. She’s good at what she does. So good, in fact, that everything she could ever want lands right in her lap like she’s the Queen of fucking England. Or something like that.
  2. Wherever Danny Ocean may be; Heaven, Hell, a cave off the coast of Africa, he’s proud of her. Just don’t hold your breath on him ever admitting it.
  3. She’s in love with both Lou and Tammy, respectively. Always has been. Always plans to be.
  4. They somehow all found a way to love each other, and some days it’s weird and wild and twisted but they make it work and _God_ if it isn’t worth it. It’s like Lou tells people sometimes, Debbie Ocean could fall in shit and come up smelling like roses.
  5. Her and Lou have just gotten Tammy incredibly fucking high for the first time in her life and it was _spectacular_.



Earlier that afternoon, Lou had strolled downstairs to grab hot cocoa for Debbie in one of her old t-shirts, almost daring one of the other girls to say something to her. Lou doesn’t indulge any embarrassing emotions, so if one of them wanted to make a ‘whipped’ comment or crack a joke about her unusual choice of attire, they could meet the cool backside of her hand. No one said anything because the only two people in the loft were Rose and Nine-Ball who were on the couch getting stoned. _Oh._

Lou did a double take at sweet, slightly spaced out Rose taking a huge hit from a bong that Nine had just handed her. Both of them were sprawled out on the couch looking calm, something Rose _definitely_ was not. She gaped for a few seconds with a jug of milk in her hand before shaking her head and closing the fridge door behind her. She _always_ remembered Debbie liked milk in her hot chocolate, never water. She briefly paused to consider that maybe she was whipped.

“Rose, babe, how you doin’ over there?” Lou measured out the scoops of cocoa powder and a lot of sugar, knowing Debbie won’t drink it unless it’s 80% sugar, 20% cocoa. _Yeah_ , _definitely whipped._ “Oh, Lou darling, I have been having the time of my life with this one,” she slowly pointed a finger at Nine-Ball. “Although, there’s got to be something in this contraption besides weed, because the world is just so, so- _blurry_.” Lou reached over the counter to pick up Rose’s glasses and sauntered over to prop them on her face.

“Is that better?” Rose looked up at her with wide eyes like Lou had just solved world hunger and scrambled up to hug her torso tightly. Nine-Ball rolled her eyes and managed to bite back her sarcastic comment. Retracting herself from Rose’s embrace, Lou patted her shoulder endearingly and winked. “Enjoy that high, Rosie.” Nine-Ball pulled herself off the couch, stretching her body so that her eyes squeezed shut, smiling at nothing in particular. “Rose, I really need some motherfucking tacos, let’s go.” Rose blinked once and then nodded sharply. “Yes, yes. Tacos. We need those.” Nine-Ball grabbed her wallet and swung an arm around Rose’s shoulder. “And they’re on me.” Rose smiled brightly at her like she was the one who solved world hunger this time.

Lou considered something for a moment before calling after them, “Hey, Nine, can I have some of this?” She gestured towards the bong and baggie of weed. Nine-Ball waved a hand nonchalantly and replied, “Yeah, bitch. All yours. You know how much weed $38 mil can buy?” They closed the door behind them, leaving Lou smiling mischievously into her cup of hot cocoa.

She gracefully managed to balance two cups of cocoa in one hand and the bong in the other while walking up the stairs. Pushing the door open with her foot, she glanced at Debbie who was sprawled on the bed, managing to take up the entire space while scrolling through her phone. “ _Oh_ Debra,” she singsonged, “I come bearing gifts.” She held up the baggie and shook it between two fingers.

Debbie’s went wide and she grinned. “Weed? How illegal. I may have to involve the cops, you _criminal_.”

Lou snorted and replied, “Too bad the only thing I want to do with the cops is their handcuffs.”

Debbie laughed at that. “Being handcuffed to my bed?” She shook her head slowly and relished the sweetness of the idea. “Never really thought about that one.”

Lou cracked her gum before casually asking, “Who says you’d be the one in handcuffs?”

A pause. Then a slow grin. “You never fail to surprise me, Lou Miller. Bring that shit over here, would ya?”

Two mugs of hot cocoa and an unnamed amount of bong hits later, Debbie and Lou were on their bed, Lou’s head in Debbie’s lap while she stroked her hair. It was like two teenage girls had emerged from behind the cool facade the two of them put on for heist purposes; their real selves now a tangled mess on their bed enjoying their high. Lou was in the middle of a story that included her wildly gesturing with her hands, something about a woman next to her in a bar in Arizona who had pulled a lizard out of her jacket pocket and placed it right on the bartop. Debbie was trying to keep up, her eyes having a hard time focusing when she heard the front door slam. Lou paused, listening for the footsteps that would tip them off as to who it was.

“Tammy,” their eyes met at the same time, causing them to collapse in a fit of giggles. The bedroom door swung open and there stood the suburban mother of their dreams, all 5 foot 6 inches of her, glowing after her afternoon hot yoga class and mandatory green smoothie that she slammed down on the dresser next to her. You can take the suburban mother of two out of the suburbs, but you can’t take the suburbs out of the suburban mother.

“Do _not_ tell me you two are doing what I think you’re doing,” Tammy huffed, looking around the room with distaste. “It smells like a goddamn frat house in here.” Lou looked up at Debbie, mouth forming a childish grin that spelled out _mom’s home and she’s mad._ Debbie rolled over to reach out for Tammy’s hand and pouted like a child when Tammy swatted it away. “No, you two are impossible sometimes.” Although she tried to sound stern, there was a soft edge to her voice that Lou caught onto immediately. She looked at Debbie again and whispered comically, “I think she’s mad at us.” Debbie nodded her agreement enthusiastically, the movement shaking the bed frame.

“You two are truly the bane of my existence sometimes. Really, I’d expect this from Nine and Daphne, but not you two.” Tammy chastised them before poking at the baggie of weed with her pointer finger like it contained a poison. Debbie followed her finger with her eyes and an idea sparked in her mind. She sat up again, this time picking the bong back up and forcefully pulling Tammy down on the bed with her. “Tam Tam,” Debbie declared, “I have done you a great disservice by never getting you high. I mean for god’s sake, we robbed the Met together.” Lou; who had managed to maneuver herself on her back so that her head hung over the edge of the bed, nodded in agreement. Tammy sat rigidly on the side, toying with the buttons on her sweater. She picked a stray hair from her pants nervously, chewing the inside of her cheek.

“I can’t just…..smoke weed in the middle of the day,” she replied quietly. “I have responsibilities. Someone has to cook dinner for eight people, and nobody wants the food you two make.” Lou’s fingers had begun tracing the side of Tammy’s forearm, goosebumps following in its wake. She looked delighted and Tammy couldn’t help but smile down at her. “Just one hit, Tam, you’ll feel fine,” Lou whispered, still looking amused at the path her hand was making. She knew they had Tammy in the palm of their hands with the way she was looking between the bong and Debbie.

“But I have _children_ ,” Tammy tried miserably one last time to dissuade them. “Mothers don’t smoke weed.” She hissed out her last word, knowing Debbie and Lou definitely did not buy that excuse. Debbie laughed, “Yeah they do. Don’t you know Lou and I have children too?” She poked Lou in the stomach. “Tell her, babe.” Lou sat up too quickly, all the blood rushing to her head. She placed a hand on the bed for stability before laughing sharply. “Yeah, Tam, their names are Amita, Constance, Nine, Rose, and Daphne. Raised all of ‘em ourselves, didn’t we darling?” She poked Debbie back, causing them to erupt in giggles once more. “I think they inherited all my good looks and only got Deb’s shit cooking skills.”

  
Tammy rolled her eyes and sat up a little straighter. “I guess,” she started out slowly, “that one hit will not kill me. But I’m warning you two, no funny business. I won’t be involved in any of your shenanigans, okay?” The mother in her needed a set of guidelines before she embarked on this uncharted territory. She looked between the both of them, sighing when Debbie sheepishly held out her pinkie finger. Tammy rolled her eyes and pinkie promised back while Lou made a scouts honor salute. Debbie gathered the bong and taught Tammy the technique on how to use it. She tentatively held it in her hands and took a deep breath before leaning down to take an extremely large hit. Lou’s wild eyes flew up to meet Debbie’s, aware of the fact that Tammy was about to be really _fucking_ high. Tammy handed the bong back over to Debbie and flopped backwards immediately. Laying on her back, she smiled up at Lou who had sat up to make sure she was alright. “That wasn’t so bad, I feel fine,” she exhaled, “What’s all the hype?”

“The hype is that shit’s about to get real for you in about 30 seconds,” Debbie chuckled. “I should have told you not to take such a large hit.” Tammy hummed nonchalantly, checking her freshly done nails. “Well I feel absolutely nothing, so maybe it didn’t work. Give me that.” She sat up again, reaching over Debbie for the bong. “Tam- you sure about that?” Lou’s voice, rough and cool in her ear, with a protective hand on her thigh. “One should definitely be enough.” Tammy nodded, taking another hit as instructed like a pro. “Yeah, yeah. I’m good.”

Debbie sat up on the seemingly hundreds of decorative pillows Tammy insisted on having on the bed, smiling at what was about to unfold in front of her. Tammy flopped back down on the bed, sighing contentedly. “I feel amazing.” Lou stroked her hair and matched Debbie’s shit eating grin. “Yeah, you’re gonna feel real good in a second.”

Tammy sat up to answer; way too quickly, her reply getting caught in her throat. She blinked several times, looking around wildly before turning to face the two of them. “ _Oh_.” She cleared her throat. “Oh I am _high_.” She swirled around like the cops were about to break down the door that very second. “Oh my god, what do I do?” Lou and Tammy burst out laughing and Tammy swears Lou wiped away a few tears that sprung from the corner of her eyes. She quickly grabbed Tammy’s hand to calm her down. “Nothing, baby. You’re gonna be fine.” She emphasized the word fine, looking at Debbie and gesturing for her to agree with her. “Yeah, yeah,” Debbie tried and failed miserably to stop laughing, “What Lou said. Everything’s gonna be fine. Lay back down.”

Tammy tentatively lowered herself back down, smoothing the top of her sweater down. “I’ve never been high before, what if someone finds out? What if my kids find out?” She clutched the fabric at Lou’s shirt and pleaded up at her. “We cannot let them know.”

Debbie tapped her on the shoulder, making her jump frantically. She soothed a hand across Tammy’s collarbone to calm her and forced her to look her in the eye. “Hey, hey, earth to Tam. Everything’s fucking fine. Your kids will not know about this until Lou and I decide to spill all your dirty secrets to them when they’re old enough.” Tammy wailed sharply before covering her face with her hands. Lou had to stand up and lean on the bed post so the mattress wouldn’t shake with her laughter. Debbie managed to pull herself together long enough to grasp Tammy’s wrist and reply, “My god Tam, I’m _kidding_.” She peeked an eye out from between two fingers and whispered, “Swear Debbie. Swear to me you’re joking.” Debbie nuzzled her head into the crook of her shoulder. “Yes, honey. I swear.” A creak in the bed made Tammy jerk up. “Good lord, skippy. It’s just me.” Lou lowered herself down to mirror Debbie’s position, splaying a hand across Tammy’s stomach. “Let’s all just chill out for hot sec. How’re you feeling?”

Tammy tentatively lowered her hands away from her face and let Lou trace her goosebumps again. “I feel like- like maybe my face is melting. But really slowly. Like lava. Or my kids when I tell them to put their toys away.” Debbie huffed out a laugh and replied, “Well, alright.”

Tammy had always been the more levelheaded of the three, and seeing her like this made Debbie want to record every moment and play it back whenever she felt the need. Tammy rolled her head to the side and toyed with the frayed end of Lou’s t-shirt with wondrous eyes and childlike amusement. She looked up at Lou, and then over at Debbie with her eyes crinkled in confusion. “This,” she lifted up the shirt, “This is Debbie’s shirt. But it’s on Lou’s body.” She dropped it and laughed hysterically. “That’s funny.” Lou snorted and pushed Tammy’s hair out of her eyes. “Yeah babe, and these are your underwear,” she lifted the shirt high enough so Tammy could see. “Debra over here couldn’t be fucked to do any laundry this morning. It’s like they taught her nothing in prison.”

Debbie swiftly smacked Lou upside the head with one of the decorative pillows, meaning to do it lightly but instead hitting her with such force that it caught her by surprise and she flew backwards off the bed. Tammy watched it in slow motion, her face forming a look of sheer horror.

Stunned silence followed.

Debbie clutched the pillow, looking like she had just been caught red-handed with the murder weapon. “Oh my god Lou, are you okay?” Tammy scrambled over to the other side of the bed on her stomach and leaned her head over. Lou was on her back on the floor with tears streaming down her face and she was- _laughing_? Tammy gave her an incredulous look. “Lou?”

Lou couldn’t contain her laughter, deep belly laughs that caused Debbie to crawl over next to Tammy and look down too. “I cannot believe she tried to take me out. With a fucking pillow,” she pointed a shaky finger at Debbie and laughed again. “A pillow!” She clutched her chest and howled with more laughter. Tammy looked over at Debbie and bit her bottom lip to stop from smiling. “Don’t you dare laugh at me,” Debbie pleaded. “It was an accident!” The dam burst and Tammy was soon clutching her stomach and rolling with laughter as well.

Debbie shoved her shoulder and pointed down at Lou, “If you’re going to laugh at me you can join her down there.” She crossed her arms and sat up at the head of the bed, trying and failing to look displeased. Tammy leaned over and held out an arm for Lou, who grasped it and hoisted herself back on the bed. She took the opportunity to straddle Debbie and take her face between her palms, her shirt riding up so that Debbie could run a hand up a smooth thigh. “I won’t fault you for accidentally trying to kill me, but for next time try not to have any witnesses.” She jabbed a finger in Tammy’s direction who threw her hands up in mock innocence as if to say ‘ _I saw absolutely nothing_ ’. Debbie finally cracked and muffled her laughter into Lou’s clavicle.

Her right hand had slowly began reaching higher and higher up Lou’s thigh, earning a inquisitive look from the blonde in her lap. Debbie only leaned forward to nip at her neck, her hand following up the curves of Lou’s body to rest at her breast, thumb and forefinger joining to roll a nipple between them. “I’m sorry I tried to kill you. Let me make it up to you.”

“Well I will never say no to that, jailbird,” Lou reached over behind her to pull Tammy in for a kiss. “And you should apologize to Tam Tam,” she tsked. “Getting her high? No wonder they threw you in the slammer in the first place. You’re a dangerous criminal.” They all laughed at that, Debbie pulling Tammy down for an equally hot kiss. Clothes began flying off their bodies at warped speed.

A soft hand then slipped into Lou’s underwear, earning a contented groan from its receiver. Lou slid up and down on her palm a few times, moaning and leaning back into Tammy’s embrace; who had slipped behind her to encourage the movement on Debbie’s hand. Tammy’s mouth was busy exploring the expanse of Lou’s long neck, finding her heartbeat and resting it there. With practiced ease she came all over Debbie’s fingers, heavily breathing and straining to keep the contact until she couldn’t take it anymore and slipped off.

Debbie wasted no time in pushing her fingers into her own mouth to taste before patting one of Tammy’s thighs, gesturing her to swing it between hers. Tammy grinded down, groaning when Debbie teasingly lifted her knee higher. “Oh _god_ ,” she moaned when Debbie softly captured a nipple between teeth, “Does high sex always feel this good? I’ll never be sober again.” Debbie looked at her smugly and replied, “No, I’m just very good at what I do.” Tammy swatted her halfheartedly, pushing herself down even harder. Lou came back into her line of vision and pressed a serious of hot kisses against her collarbone and neck. Her fingers teased incessantly while Debbie took in Tammy’s wild movements, two hands flying to her hips to aid in the grinding. Tammy saw stars and sunk forward into Debbie’s waiting embrace. She chuckled and stroked her hair softly, a contented moan falling from lips.

Basking in the glow for a few moments, Debbie took a second to say a silent prayer to whatever higher power there is to thank them for what she had in her bed. That prayer was cut short when she felt Lou’s tongue slowly drag itself up the inside of her thigh, warm, wet, and hot. She gasped and spread her thighs wider so Lou could prop herself between them. Seeing the glistening wetness, Lou couldn’t waste any time putting her mouth on Debbie. Coy lips and soft hands made it all the more harder for her to stay still.

“Baby,” Lou whispered, “you taste so good.” Another lick and her head slammed down on the pillow. Tammy was quick to slide up next to her, whispering in her ear how good she is, how sexy she is, how wet it makes her to hear Debbie moan like this. One flick of a thumb against her nipple and she cried out, clamping her thighs on either side of Lou’s head. In the afterglow, she pried them apart, pulling Lou up on the other side of her embrace.

All three of them lay there; high, satiated, and according to Tammy, really _fucking_ hungry. Tammy tapped Debbie incessantly in the stomach until she threw her hands up and promised to go downstairs and not come back until she brought snacks. Pulling on a robe, she made her way downstairs where she greeted Nine-Ball and Amita. Nine-Ball waved and gestured towards the mountain of tacos on the dining room table. “Please, help a bitch out and take some of these. I left Rose alone for 10 seconds to fill my drink and homegirl ordered 3 of everything on the menu.” Amita nodded happily, face stuffed with what looked like a vegetarian burrito, and chimed in, “Can we fault her for that? They’re delicious.”

Debbie grabbed a plate and loaded a pile, barely making a dent in the mountain. She nodded her head towards Nine-Ball as a thank you and made her way back up the stairs.

She entered the doorway and bowed like she had pulled off an extravagant heist by bringing back the plate of food. Tammy’s eyes lit up and she sighed theatrically, “ _Oh_ , it’s like Thanksgiving, but better.” She took 4 tacos and a burrito off the plate and scrambled back on the bed. Lou smirked at Debbie, taking two of each, and joined Tammy on the bed, resting her head on her lap. Their blinding smiles and ease in which they molded together made Debbie’s mouth go dry.

 

 

Yes, there’s 5 things Debbie Ocean knows in life to be true, and all 5 of them make her the luckiest criminal alive.

**Author's Note:**

> hope y'all had fun with this one! i'm at moonmotels on tumblr if anyone wants to chat about literally any of the women from this movie. also bonus points if you can guess which of these quotes is word for word something i said while high:-)


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